Such a great essay! Observing my kids behavior when they are not feeling well, hungry, or tired has been making me think about these issues for years now... I think, ultimately, it comes down whether you believe in free will or not.
I wrote the following a while ago while reflecting on the human behavior in general. The issue of forgiveness ties into this as well.
"The question of free will, whether it truly exists or not, has many implications. For instance, what defines someone's personality? Personality, the way others perceive it, is the sum total of someone's more or less consistent behaviors. Some people are kinder than others, more anxious than others, etc., which translates into their daily interactions with other people. If there is no free will, does anyone have any control over one's behavior and, as a result, over one's perceived personality?
So many things in our lives influence our behavior: whether we had a good night's sleep, whether we had to skip lunch due to too much work, whether we had our morning cup of coffee, whether we had a fight with our significant other the night before, the types of food we consume on a regular basis, whether we are feeling well or not, just to name a few. As our daily behavior gets shaped by these and many other factors in our lives, you could say that these factors shape our personalities.
One could object that, yes, all of the above factors certainly influence our behavior on a daily basis, but what truly defines our personalities is how we respond to these factors and how much influence on our behavior we allow them to have. A calm and kind person will stay calm and kind even if she has not had enough sleep or is hungry. But is it truly the case? Perhaps this person, who is consistently perceived as calm and kind, has a thicker prefrontal cortex that allows her to better control her emotions despite the lack of food or sleep. The big question is whether this "good" person chose to behave in this fashion despite all her life's challenges, or whether she simply has the genetic makeup conducive to behaving as a good person. Did a mean and cranky person choose to behave this way? Perhaps he simply has no adequate prefrontal cortical brainpower (largely determined by genetics) to resist the environmental factors mentioned earlier, such as interrupted sleep, hunger, pain, emotional trauma, etc., which translates into the behavior most people would define as negative and unpleasant.
In conclusion, we seem to have limited control over our behaviors and, hence, how others see our personalities. Our personalities are largely defined by genetics that make us more or less susceptible to environmental influences on our behavior. This sounds very pessimistic, but there is a silver lining to all this: one could improve one's personality by improving one's diet, getting a good amount of sleep, and surrounding oneself with positive people with good personalities."
We don't blame toddlers for their temper tantrums because we know that their prefrontal cortices are immature and unable to control these emotional outbursts and unpleasant behaviors. As adults, many of us are not immune to these behaviors either. If we come to understanding that some of us, due to a variety of genetic and environmental reasons, are occasionally physically unable to control our behavior akin to toddlers, genuinely forgiving such unpleasant behaviors becomes so much easier.
Yes! I've thought a lot about this lately as I struggle with my own reactions to ongoing and recurring things, and sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I don't do so well. There are so many different factors that influence how I exist and respond on a given day, it can be hard to make sense of my own self.
Such a great essay! Observing my kids behavior when they are not feeling well, hungry, or tired has been making me think about these issues for years now... I think, ultimately, it comes down whether you believe in free will or not.
I wrote the following a while ago while reflecting on the human behavior in general. The issue of forgiveness ties into this as well.
"The question of free will, whether it truly exists or not, has many implications. For instance, what defines someone's personality? Personality, the way others perceive it, is the sum total of someone's more or less consistent behaviors. Some people are kinder than others, more anxious than others, etc., which translates into their daily interactions with other people. If there is no free will, does anyone have any control over one's behavior and, as a result, over one's perceived personality?
So many things in our lives influence our behavior: whether we had a good night's sleep, whether we had to skip lunch due to too much work, whether we had our morning cup of coffee, whether we had a fight with our significant other the night before, the types of food we consume on a regular basis, whether we are feeling well or not, just to name a few. As our daily behavior gets shaped by these and many other factors in our lives, you could say that these factors shape our personalities.
One could object that, yes, all of the above factors certainly influence our behavior on a daily basis, but what truly defines our personalities is how we respond to these factors and how much influence on our behavior we allow them to have. A calm and kind person will stay calm and kind even if she has not had enough sleep or is hungry. But is it truly the case? Perhaps this person, who is consistently perceived as calm and kind, has a thicker prefrontal cortex that allows her to better control her emotions despite the lack of food or sleep. The big question is whether this "good" person chose to behave in this fashion despite all her life's challenges, or whether she simply has the genetic makeup conducive to behaving as a good person. Did a mean and cranky person choose to behave this way? Perhaps he simply has no adequate prefrontal cortical brainpower (largely determined by genetics) to resist the environmental factors mentioned earlier, such as interrupted sleep, hunger, pain, emotional trauma, etc., which translates into the behavior most people would define as negative and unpleasant.
In conclusion, we seem to have limited control over our behaviors and, hence, how others see our personalities. Our personalities are largely defined by genetics that make us more or less susceptible to environmental influences on our behavior. This sounds very pessimistic, but there is a silver lining to all this: one could improve one's personality by improving one's diet, getting a good amount of sleep, and surrounding oneself with positive people with good personalities."
We don't blame toddlers for their temper tantrums because we know that their prefrontal cortices are immature and unable to control these emotional outbursts and unpleasant behaviors. As adults, many of us are not immune to these behaviors either. If we come to understanding that some of us, due to a variety of genetic and environmental reasons, are occasionally physically unable to control our behavior akin to toddlers, genuinely forgiving such unpleasant behaviors becomes so much easier.
Yes! I've thought a lot about this lately as I struggle with my own reactions to ongoing and recurring things, and sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I don't do so well. There are so many different factors that influence how I exist and respond on a given day, it can be hard to make sense of my own self.
Thoughtful and real--thank you!